


How to be a (Flip) Wizard

by KalicoFox



Series: The Adventure Zone Oneshots [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Feels, Gen, Taako is a flip wizard, dex training for wizards, fantasy yoga, of course he's going to train Angus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 10:33:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10920045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalicoFox/pseuds/KalicoFox
Summary: Taako is a Flip Wizard. Angus is his apprentice in all but name. It's about time that Taako showed him one of the tricks of the trade.





	How to be a (Flip) Wizard

“Sir?”

Taako turned around and grinned at Angus, beckoning him further into the Icosagon.

“Took you long enough, Ango! I’ve been waiting half the night!”

“Sorry sir,” Angus yawned, “I had to wait for Killian and Carey to fall asleep since their dorm is on my hall and you said to make sure no one knew I was coming here. I ended up falling asleep.”

Taako paused, eying his pseudo-apprentice. “You know, if you don’t _want_ to learn this, you could just go back to bed…”

“No!” Angus yelped, “No sir! I do want to learn, I swear! I’m sorry I was late, it won’t happen again, I promise!”

For a moment Taako just looked at Angus, then he nodded once and half turned away.

“All right Ango,” Taako started, reaching back and starting to braid his hair with deft movements of his fingers. “What’s the most important part of being a wizard?”

“Making sure to memorize all of your spells?” Angus asked, frowning slightly at being asked this question yet again.

Taako paused, considering the answer, then snorted. “No dice, pumpkin. I mean, yeah, that’s _important_ , but that’s not the _most_ important. Nah, the _most_ important part of being a wizard is _staying alive._ If you die, then there’s no one to back up your party. If you die, then you’re fucking _dead_ , and I’ve got it on good authority that coming back from that is pretty fucking frowned on.”

Angus blinked. “But, I thought wizards couldn’t wear armour because it interferes with magic? We just _can’t_ have a high armor class!”

A snap of slender fingers had a piece of string wrapping around the end of the waist length braid and Taako snorted again, propping his fists on his hips so he could glower down at Angus. “Who the hell said that?”

Angus quailed, shrinking nervously under the steely eyes of his teacher. “Um… everyone?”

Taako blinked, leaning back so that he wasn’t looming over Angus. “Really? Huh.”

After a moment of processing that he shrugged and turned away, absent-mindedly flipping his braid over one shoulder.

“Yeah, we can’t wear armor.” he admitted easily, “But Carey can’t do all her sweet flips in the heavy shit that Merle and Magnus wear, and _her_ armor class is almost as high as theirs. The secret,” Taako grinned, “is fantasy yoga.”

With a flourish, Taako pulled two thin mats out of nothing, tossing them onto the floor where they straightened themselves until they laid flat.

“Sir?” Angus asked, and Taako waved him silent.

“It’s not the _whole_ secret, of course, but that shit comes later. Right now I wanna see how bendy you are.”

“Well sir,” Angus said tentatively, “I _am_ just a young boy, and I’ve heard that children are more flexible than adults, so maybe we could just sk-”

“Angus,” Taako interrupted, one foot tapping impatiently, “Get on the fucking mat.”

“Yessir!”

Thoughtless as Taako sometimes was, he did honestly _try_ to keep the poses to what he thought was a beginner’s level. He didn’t really start showing off until Angus slumped over and rolled onto his back, breathing heavily with sweat sticking his light clothing to his skin.

“Don’t feel too bad Ango,” Taako said magnanimously, balancing on his hands with his back arched in a nearly perfect half circle that left his feet dangling just shy of touching the top of his head. “I’ve been doing this for _years_.”

“That is sort of reassuring Sir,” Angus admitted, turning his head to watch with fascination as Taako carefully stretched out of the position, placed one foot on the ground in front of his face and seemingly _walked_ out of the contortion.

“Why did you have to show me this at night?” Angus asked curiously, and Taako paused, a strange look on his face.

“Sit up bubeleh, we’ve gotta stretch or you’re going to end up in so many knots that you won’t be able to move.”

Obediently, Angus sat up, mimicking Taako the best he could as the wizard stretched in silence.

“Wizards know a lot of things, right Ango?” Taako eventually asked, and Angus blinked.

“Well, yes Sir, of course they do! That’s why I’m learning magic! Not to brag, but knowing things is something that I’m very good at.”

Taako nodded, the strange look still on his face doing odd things to Angus’ stomach.

“Well pumpkin, one of the things a wizard learns sooner or later is that there are things that other people shouldn’t know. Or that they shouldn’t know _you_ know.”

He paused, taking in the concerned look on Angus’ face, and grinned, “Don’t look so scared, boychik! Usually it’s not a big deal at all. But…”

Something behind Taako’s eyes shuttered, and his face went still and hard. “But it’s always good to have a card or seven up your sleeve, okay Ango? That way you’re not left high and dry when someone stabs you in the back.”

For a moment, Angus was still, frozen in place at the uncharacteristically _hard_ look on his mentor’s face. Then, between one moment and the next, the mood shifted and Taako was on his feet, sweeping the fantasy yoga mat out from under Angus without moving him and rolling it up with a snap of prestidigitation.

“Meet me here the day after tomorrow.” Taako called over his shoulder, “We’ll do dexterity training on nights you don’t have magic lessons.”

“Yes sir!” Angus chirped, then, before he could stop himself, “Mr Taaco?”

Taako paused in the doorway.

“Hmm?”

“Do Magnus and Merle know about…?” His voice trailed off as he tried to come up with the words to encompass everything he’d just learned.

Thin lips twisted up in a crooked, bitter smile.

“Two nights from now, Ango.”

And the door swung shut behind him, leaving Angus alone in the silent Icosagon.

 


End file.
